Bag And Broom

Last time I told you all about dew and its awesome ability to change a baby’s numbers to green. And one would think that there was nothing else to add. Sorry, one, you would be wrong,

Today, I am going tell you about a different type of dew: Maldew.

Maldew or ‘Malju’ can best be explained as ‘Bad-Eye’. The word, ‘creolised’ from the French ‘mal-yeux’.

Now anyone can get Maldew because it is caused by bad looks coupled with bad thoughts send via bad vibes … or something like that. Or, for no explicable reason, a perfectly good person, (family, friend) could give someone Maldew with a look or touch. Some would say that these people ‘have evil in them’ and while they smile to your face their envy and ill-thoughts affect those who are extremely sensitive, like babies.

When babies get it, it’s the worst because they can’t drink their milk or not enough of it, they get diarrhoea, they throw up and they can’t sleep and cry a lot… for any or all of those reasons.  The scientific method of diagnosing Maldew has yet to be discovered, as far as I know, but who needs it anyway, when all you need is Sweet Broom.

Sweet Broom, for those of you not as well versed as I am, is a bush. The baby holds a sprig of Sweet Broom and if she has Maldew, the Sweet Broom wilts. So modern medicine can kiss my bleep!

Do not worry, my dear Moms, there are both prevention and a cure.

To prevent Maldew, make your baby a blue bag

Simply sew a piece of blue fabric into a small square and put into it, among other things: a piece of Indigo blue, a clove of garlic, a ten-cent coin and a piece of square camphor. Then pin the bag onto your baby’s clothes using a brass pin. (Here’s a trick, seal it in plastic to help prevent stains on baby’s vests.)                
You can also buy jet or silver bracelets.

To cure Maldew, your baby needs to get a ‘Jarray’.

A Jarray is a type of spiritual cleansing involving prayers, chanting and a cocoyea broom. Not everyone can do it so make sure you find a suitably spiritual person –a Pundit or Baptist leader. It’s completely fool-proof as my mother can attest and can be repeated as needed throughout a child’s life.

And did I mention that Maldew can cause green twos too?

Interesting how concerned moms were about protecting babies’ stool, isn’t it?

Between you and me, my daughter used her blue bag until she was eight years old.

    After all, a mother can never be too careful.